A friend of mine, Gary Thexton, passed on this:
Two farmers walking through a field; one stoops down and dips his finger in some cow dung and rubs it across his lips. The second farmer asks him why he did such a disgusting thing. The first one replies, “I have chapped lips!”. The second one asks him, “Does it make them better?” He replies, “No! But it stops you from licking them!”
I couldn’t help laughing. Just for the record, I carry a container of antibacterial wipes in the Bobcat glove-box. I am far from obsessive about cleanliness but when it’s time for a snack and we’re too far away from a tap, they ease my mother guilt.